Say What?

I have a fault in my personality. For whatever reason, my intentions are almost ALWAYS misinterpreted, except by the people who know me the best. If I’m trying to be helpful, it often comes across that I’m being obnoxious or overbearing. The time when I try to be extra sweet is usually the time that a person takes extra offense. If I’m trying to ask a question, somebody usually thinks that I’m trying to correct or criticize them. I guess I missed the class period in Life 101 when they taught us Basic Communication Skills!

The problem is, I don’t even know when I’m doing it, or what or how I’m doing it, so it makes the issue one that is incredibly difficult for me to remedy. As with most foibles, the solution is relatively simple. I just have to become like Christ. Easy, right? Well, we all know it isn’t easy at all. However, one step at a time, it works.

Elder Lynn G. Robbins said, “To become as He is, we must also do the things He did: “Verily, verily, I say unto you, this is my gospel; and ye know the things that ye must do in my church; for the works which ye have seen me do that shall ye also do” (3 Nephi 27:21; emphasis added)…Christlike to be’s cannot be seen, but they are the motivating force behind what we do, which can be seen. When parents help a child learn to walk, for example, we see parents doing things like steadying and praising their child. These do’s reveal the unseen love in their hearts and the unseen faith and hope in their child’s potential. Day after day their efforts continue—evidence of the unseen be’s of patience and diligence.”

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8 responses to “Say What?

  1. I know someone who I think might look at herself this way, but I’ve always told her that I can always see right through to what she really means… the only advice I ever gave her was that she was perfect and I loved her dearly, but I may be biased since she’s my wife 🙂

  2. That’s cute 🙂 but my ACTUAL ( 😉 ) advice would be for your wife to just be a little less aggressive and a little more aware of how the words she’s saying would sound coming from someone else’s mouth. Would they seem presumptuous or possibly unkind if taken in a different way? Maybe mention to her that not everyone is looking for help at all when they complain about themselves, they just want reassurances from the people around them that they’re really doing okay. Insecure people need more self esteem boosters than helpful criticisms.

  3. Yes, you may be right. She made huge strides immediately when I first tried to explain it to her. I told her that something as simple as saying “Well, I think…” or “I feel…” before an opinion can have a big impact on those kinds of things and make her seem less overbearing, even though it never bothered me in the least. Maybe I’m just a secure person?

  4. aww, dont feel bad sister Barrus! U are probably So sweet… If ppl want to see the goodness in you, they will… If ppl are just lookin for something to not like you for, they always find it! Just do your best, ppl that are worth it will see you for who you are, just like this guy’s wife!!!,!

  5. Alleluia, you’re totally right. AND you have the best name ever! I’ve been trying to convince my wife to name one of our daughters Alleluia when we have a baby someday, but she said it wasn’t a real name! Ha! When she reads this thread, she’ll have to smile!

  6. smile maybe……. but that doesn’t mean she will want to name your baby this name!!! haha good luck tho!,! I’ve always liked it!!!!

  7. It must be hard to be a missionary and feel this way about yourself, always worrying if what you’re saying will hurt someone’s feelings when you don’t mean to. Stay strong, Sister B! Simple but difficult solutions are the best, but also the most challenging and require the most endurance. At least you know you have someone who understands you well out there waiting for you!

  8. Thanks for the support everyone! That is a lot of great advice 🙂 I’ll keep working on it, but your comments helped me feel like at least there’s hope for me!

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